


I'm sorry, my friends

by livelaughlove



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comfort, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-06
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2018-01-03 15:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1072080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livelaughlove/pseuds/livelaughlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lupin and Hermione have a talk after the events of Order of the Phoenix.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm sorry, my friends

“What’s the matter Hermione?”

She jumped as Lupin stepped out of the shadows behind her.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone.”

She sighed, “I know. I just...couldn’t sleep. Too many thoughts.”

“Guilt?”

Hermione whirled around to see him flash a small smile. Relaxing slightly, she smiled back, “Yes. And no. Not for what you might think. I mean...” she hurried to correct herself, “I’m upset that Sirius is gone. But I’m not guilty about it. Intellectually, I knew something like this would happen eventually.”

She was surprised to see him nod, “To be honest with you Hermione, I’ve thought the same thing. Harry would be distraught to hear it but I’ve known Sirius most of my life. He would never have been happy caged up here. It was only a matter of time.”

Lupin stepped up beside her, street lights raising long shadows across his face, “What’s the real problem?”

Hermione pressed her palms against her eyes. “It’s Harry,” she admitted, “And Ron, to some extent. They just don’t listen to me! We could have prevented so much if only they had listened to me! They are so hot-headed and won’t listen when I try and reason with them. They only think of the first option that presents itself to them. It’s all or nothing with them.” She shook her head, impatiently brushing tangled curls out of her eyes, “I guess I’m just good for homework these days,” she whispered bitterly.

Silence wrapped around them, the rumble of distant traffic providing the backdrop of muggle London. Finally, Lupin began, his voice quiet, “I once felt the same as you Hermione. I was never able to get my friends to listen to me either. I was made prefect simply to keep my friends under control. Needless to say, I failed. I was only good for homework too.”

Glancing away, he continued, “I sometimes feel like if only I had made more of an effort at keeping them in line, a lot could have been avoided. If perhaps my inaction was what helped make Sirius who he was...and James...Peter. Perhaps if I had to spoken up to Sirius, we could have avoided the feud with Severus. Maybe he would have felt like he had another choice than the Death Eaters.”

Hermione gasped. “No Remus! None of that was your fault! You can’t change someone’s personality just by nagging them.” She paused, giving a sheepish smile, “I just answered my own question, didn’t I?”

Lupin chuckled, the quiet sound almost lost in the breeze, “You’re a smart girl, Hermione. Sometimes it helps to hear another’s story. It doesn’t change how you feel about it though. The guilt won’t disappear for good. You’ll always wonder if you could have changed the outcome.”

Hermione took a small step back, unnerved by the distant look in Lupin’s eyes. Noticing her movement, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, “Don’t listen to an old, war-worn werewolf. Nowhere does it say your life will turn out like mine. You might have more luck with Harry and Ron than I did with my friends. Now it’s time to go back inside.”

Nodding thoughtfully, Hermione stepped back through the doorway. From behind her came the soft words, “I’m sorry, my friends.”

Glancing back, she could just make out the outline of Lupin, in profile against the rising half-moon.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this years ago and just came across it. I don't know why I never did anything with it.


End file.
